Americans at Hogwarts
by valerieupertar
Summary: The title is totally irrelevant to the story. Anyway, two friends get portaled from California to....PLATFORM 9 34! WHAT! r


"Dude, I'm fuckin' bored," commented Valerie as she pushed Natalie along in the shopping cart.   
  
It was September 1st, another lazy late-summer California day, and the two friends had found themselves once again with nothing to do. So, they did what any self respecting teenager would - found a shopping cart, stuck Natalie inside, and wheeled her around the bike paths.  
  
"I noticed. Too bad we have no money, we could go buy some food or lighters and play with fire or something." replied Natalie as she took another hit from the joint she had.  
  
"Yeah, that would be pretty rad," said Valerie. They had been wandering around outside for at least an hour now, and the novelty of shopping cart fun was wearing off. "Hey, too bad Harry Potter isn't real and we don't go to Hogwarts or something. We could be on the Hogwarts express right now. Just imagine, you could be off corrupting Harry, I could be-" Valerie trailed off mid sentence, for something a ways down the bike path caught her eye. It almost looked like....a person walking through a wall? No way.... "Hey Nat, how much reefer were you smokin' earlier? I think some of it may have gotten to me..."  
  
Valerie continued down the bike path to the spot in the wall where she thought she saw someone "disappear." When she finally got there, she saw it was just your average side-of-the-house wall; standard beige-ish house color, no cracks that would reveal a closed secret door or anything.  
  
"Valerie, what the hell are you doing?" asked Natalie, interrupting Valerie's calculating stare at the wall.  
  
"I think I saw someone walk through here when we were down the bike path."  
  
"Yeah, and I definitely think that bammer got to you earlier if you're fuckin' seeing people walking through walls. C'mon, let's split, I wanna get home and finish watching that movie we started earlier."  
  
"No, hold up a sec," said Valerie, once again moving closer at the wall, "I swear some guy walked through here."  
  
"Whatever. I'mma head back, feel free to come over once you've satisfied your curiosity." replied Natalie.  
  
As Natalie walked off towards her house, Valerie continued to stand there, studying the wall. 'Something's fuckin weird about this wall...I don't trust it.' she thought. She tried tapping it and was quite surprised when instead of feeling concrete pressed against her hand, she felt an interesting tingling sensation as her hand seemingly went *through* the wall. 'What the FUCK dude.'   
  
"HEY NATALIE, GET BACK HERE!!" she shouted back at her departing friend. Natalie turned around, and with the hope Valerie wasn't wasting her time, shuffled over to her friend. "Do me a favor - press your hand up against that wall, and see if it goes through."  
  
"What the crap are you talking about," Natalie replied, but put up her hand up against the wall regardless, and like Valerie, was quite surprised to discover the lack of a solid surface. She experienced the same tingly feeling Valerie did, but as she wasn't one to always think ahead, especially when stoned, with an "AW, SWEET DUDE!" she continued leaning in to the wall until the last of her body had completely disappeared.  
  
"OH MY GOD" was the most intelligent remark Valerie could make before without thinking stepped through the wall after her. The tingling spread to her toes as she walked through the wall, and was amazed to find she was in what appeared to be a train-station of sorts, with....could it be?....no way.....A SCARLET STEAM ENGINE?! "NOOOO way. No way no way no way no way no way..." she mumbled; Natalie was standing there laughing her head off, blunt in hand. Valerie found herself wishing her only companion in what appeared to be the wizarding world wasn't a stoned muggle. Then somewhere in the back of her mind she realized a whistle blowing, and that there were several people saying goodbye to their families and/or rushing to board the train. Then she looked at a clock on the brick wall across from her, and noted the time was 10:57. That meant that if they were where they *appeared* to be, the Hogwarts express would be leaving in exactly 3 minutes, going to the place of their dreams - they HAD to get on board.  
  
"Natalie." She looked to her companion on her left, realized she was still stoned off her ass, not listening to her, pointing at the train and cracking up, and tried again. "NATalie. DAMMIT, NATALIE, LOOK AT ME. Ok, good. Now would you stop laughing for a split second?! *muffled laughter* Ok, look. We need to get our asses on that train RIGHT NOW. Alright? Good. Now, I think we can get on by where those guys over there are getting on. We should stick toge-" but for the second time, Natalie had already started running ahead without much thought, greeting the two boys as she cut in front of them and swung herself onto the train. "ARGH" Val exclaimed loudly, and quickly followed suite, also cutting off the two boys boarding, but at least had the decency to excuse herself. "Sorry, just I *really* need to get to my friend...er...she's not exactly in her right mind right now."  
  
The two boys didn't seem to mind, but gave her curious glances. One was taller than Valerie even (who was 6 ft tall herself) had red hair and freckles, the shorter one had pitch black hair, and behind thick black frames were those...*FRESHLY PICKLED TOAD EYES*?! "OH MY GOD, NO WAY!!" she shrieked. She saw *HARRY POTTER* share a rather nervous (or frightened?) glance with *RONALD WEASLEY* and flatten his hair over his forehead. By then a couple of other students were waiting to board the train, so with an "Oops, sorry! ^_^;" finished stepping onto the train. They must have been the last people to load, because almost immediately the Hogwarts Express started choo-chooing it's way to the Hogsmead station.   
  
Once she had gotten on the train she thought it would be a good idea to seat herself in a compartment, then ask around if anyone had seen a crazy chick running around the train, as undoubtably it would be Natalie. She felt like she was in a movie or something, her experience just so unreal at the moment. I mean, how fucking crazy would it be to go from pushing your stoned friend around in a shopping cart to riding on the Hogwarts Express? And meeting Harry Potter!? She opened the compartment door closest to her, and was surprised to find Harry and Ron sitting there. Thoughts of finding Natalie temporarily forgotten, she mildly wondered where Hermione was. But of course, couldn't ask....she wasn't supposed to know anything about anyone here.  
  
"Hey! Do you mind if I sit here? Sorry again about that hold up back there. I'm Valerie by the way, but you can call me Val. It's easier to remember I think," offering her hand to each in turn.  
  
"Hello, I'm Ron, and this here is Harry. You're not a returning student, are you? You sound American, and I don't think I ever remember having any Americans at Hogwarts." He gave her another curious glance; Harry hadn't said a word yet, save a rather shy "Hi."  
  
"Oh...um...exchanged student! He he...erm...I'm a senior...I think to you guys here, I'm like, a 7th year or something? If I remember correctly?" Knowing too well that she most certainly did remember correctly. "What about you two guys?" she questioned, once again knowing the answer.  
  
"We're 7th years ourselves," said Harry, his first intelligent remark. He seemed to be warming up to her. Then Ron asked,  
  
"Say Val, didn't you have a friend with you? I don't know much about americans... but I've never seen a fellow british wizard or witch acting that crazy. So I assume she was with you?" he said smiling.  
  
"Yeah she was. I should probably go find her now. Shit, where did that damn girl go off to?" she said, as she started to get up from her seat to go look for her very stoned friend. Her question was answered though, when she heard someone yelling from farther down the train -  
  
"AMERICAN ON BOARD!! AMERICAN ON BOARD!! AMERICAN ON BOARD!!" Natalie was running up the hallway cupping her hands around her mouth shouting as people stared opening their compartment doors to see what all the racket was about. "VAAAAAAAAAAALERIEEEEEE, WHERE AAAAAAARE YOOOOU?!!!!"   
  
"DAMMIT NATALIE, I'M RIGHT HERE" shouted Valerie. "Dude, where the fuck have you been!? It's not a good idea to run away in a place you've never been before when you're fuckin STONED." Everybody gaped at them collectively, wondering who the fuck these crazy chicks were. Because they sure as hell weren't Hogwarts students. But at the moment neither Nat nor Val took much notice.  
  
"Aw, shit dude. You will NOT believe what I was up to. COME HITHER! I have to show you what I found!!" and she went tearing down the hall again.  
  
"I take it you found your friend?" Ron asked.  
  
"Yeah. Hey, I'll be right back, save my seat? Thanks dude." and went tearing down the hallway after Natalie.  
  
"Dude?" said Ron to Harry.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAH wow, you readers out there will really have to tell me if this is at least moderately interesting. I know it is to me and my friend......but well, I wrote it. Hehe, anyway, PLEEZE REVIEW, it's my first fic *woohoo* CLAP CLAP CLAP yeah. Um, yeah. Yeah. WoRd.  
  
The shopping cart incident really happened by the way. Well, minus the secret portal wall and all.  
  
Fo $hizzle till next chapter,  
  
val  
  
REEVIEWW 


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